As the clock ticks relentlessly down to the moment of our departure, it seems an appropriate time to remind our erstwhile members of the standard of behaviour and observance of etiquette required to maintain our reputation whilst abroad. To that end, members should familiarise themselves with the following 'Code of Conduct' and it is beholden upon all present to ensure that each trait is demonstrated fully during the trip...
• Spilling drinks and the inability to find one’s mouth with glass
• Rambling conversation, loss of train of thought
• Annoying other patrons of the bar/restaurant/museum
• Swaying and/or dozing while sitting at a bar or table
• Becoming loud, boisterous and making comments about others
• Crude behaviour
• Clumsy, uncoordinated actions
• Aggressive or belligerent attitude
• Inappropriate sexual advances
• Change in gait – stumbling
• Becoming agitated or argumentative
• Becoming careless with money, buying rounds for strangers etc.
• Difficulty moving around objects. Bumping into or knocking over furniture
• Making irrational or nonsensical statements
• Inability to light a cigarette
• Falling down
• Glassy eyes, lack of eye focus, loss of eye contact especially with karaoke microphone in hand
You can rest assured, dear readers, that we will do our utmost to adhere to this Code and that any non-conformity will be met with ridicule and childish name-calling.
On the home front, congratulations should go to Rich who has finally managed to find the level at which DSA Examiners can be bribed and it is good that at least one of us now has a valid licence.
A few of you (well all of you actually) seem a little slow in becoming followers of this publication so, as a small incentive, one 'lucky' reader will receive a framed pair of Tony's record breaking pants from the trip (unwashed of course) ...not one to be missed that.
